“At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.” –Dame Rose Macaulay (1881-1958)
A Perfectly Kept House is the Sign of a Misspent Life: How to live creatively with collections, clutter, work, kids, pets, art, etc… and stop worrying about everything being perfectly in its place. (Rizzoli New York) by Mary Randolph Carter
Have you ever read a book, and thought that perhaps it was written specifically for you? This lovely book is likely to strike a chord with many of us who live with: collections, memories, children, pets, clutter, work and lots of creativity. Mary Randolph Carter, author of several books dedicated to “junk,” has written a book that provides much-needed affirmation for those of us who experience a love-hate relationship with our houses. We hate the burden of keeping them clean and tidy all of the time, but we love to bring lovely things into them, and fill them with the items that speak to us and bring us joy. Somehow these two desires create a conflict. Carter’s solution? Give up the idea that our houses have to be perfect, and simply live in them in a way that brings comfort and joy not only to you, but perhaps more surprisingly, your guests as well!
Seriously, think about the houses you enjoy visiting. Are they the stark homes in which you feel nervous to set foot inside? The homes where not a picture frame or throw pillow is out of place? If you’re like me, you much prefer your friend’s house where you can admire the refrigerator filled with family pictures, paw through the stack of books on the ottoman, tuck your feet under you in a cushy chair, and delight in the creative vignette of collected whimsical items on the mantel. A little dust? Who cares. A friendly dog giving you a friendly greeting? All the better!
This book is a treasure-trove of lovely photography that gives readers a glimpse into the collected items and lovingly “lived-in” homes of not only the author, but a host of other diverse folks. These are the kind of homes you want to sneak into and peer into every nook and cranny admiring the chipped vases, distressed picture frames, frayed quilts and stacks of books. (Take a look at the picture on page 114-115 and you’ll see what I mean!) Truthfully, when I look at the homes featured in many decorating magazines, I say to myself, “No way! Where’s all of there STUFF?”
1. There really are other people out there who have a compulsion to bring something home from the side of the road or from a junk shop. They don’t NEED this item, they just love it for some unexplainable reason, and it makes them happy to look at it.
2. For many beauty lies in the imperfect and the informal.
3. It’s okay to embrace your home less with the “housekeeper’s broom and more with the homemaker’s heart.”
5. On page 131, Carter shares her practice of keeping a personal welcome book… a place for friends to jot down their memories of visiting your home. This idea stuck with me and it is my intention to purchase a simple blank book and some colored pens to encourage my guests to chronicle their time at our cabin in the mountains. Isn’t that a fun, simple idea?
6. There’s a fine-line between living with our treasures and being on the next episode of Hoarders. Be mindful that you don’t cross the line!
7. It’s okay to have a “purposeless room!”
“At times you may think you’re crazy to own all these things or else brilliant for finding these treasures so many other eyes missed!”— Liza Carter Norton (p. 27)
“Clutter is the poetry of our homes. It is a fingerprint of an experience, a souvenir of our childhoods, an expression of our humor, a collection of things that we just can’t live without… Embrace it, make peace with it, take control of it, share it, reorganize it, and when the time seems right, bid it farewell.” (p. 51)
“Never stop to think, “Do I have a place for this?” (p. 259)
Happy Reading! I hope you will pick up a copy of Carter’s book soon. I found mine at my local library, of course! Sit down in a comfortable chair with a glass of ice-tea (Be sure to bring the sticky-notes so you can mark all of the pictures and quotes you will want to re-visit!) and spend a few quiet hours honoring your creative, imperfect home. After all, you can dust later! (You might also like my review of Dottie Angel: the Peachy Crafty World of Tif Fussell: https://kerriemore.com/2011/10/06/dottie/)
Aside: On more than one occasion, I have mentioned my favorite magazine Where Women Create created by Jo Packham – which is a quarterly gallery showcasing the creative spaces of a diverse group of artists. If you are a fan of this publication, you will know what I mean when I say you want to slow down and savor each picture, admiring each lovely item in these creative spaces. I felt the same way about Carter’s book. On more than one occasion, I would put the book right up close to my nose to try to figure out what lovely item was tucked on the corner of a shelf or under a table. That’s how I enjoy each lovely issue of “Where Women Create”!
(Photo Credits: A Perfectly Kept House is the Sign of a Misspent Life by Mary Randolph Carter published by Rizzoli New York.)